The Long Hard Wait

March 20, 1996 - 10:23 am Mountain daylight time

In 28 hours, 7 minutes, I will stand up from my desk and leave for the airport. In 2 and 1/2 days, I will first set foot on Asian soil. In approximately 7 1/2 days, I will meet Lara for the first time... and my life will finally start up again.

The past six months (September 16, 1995 - March 21, 1996) have been the longest and dreariest of my entire life. The milestones of the adoption process (pass the homestudy, getting INS approval, seeing Lara's photo for the first time) have been totally overshadowed by the overwhelming weight of time. I feel as though I've spent weeks and weeks of days, just watching the second hand tick past.

Occasionally, I hear Pollyannish folks express gratitude at the long delays inherent in the adoption process. "It gives me time to get ready for my child," they say. My response to this nonsense is, "Bull poop!" If you aren't ready for a child, then don't fill out the adoption application.

I find it hard to imagine that very many prospective parents make the decision to adopt on a whim. Personally, I decided I wanted to have children when I was 28 and picked out both a girl name and a boy name. By the time I was 34, I was ready to go it alone, and signed up with the sperm bank. By the time I realized that I wasn't going to get pregnant, I was nearly 36. It took me another five months to make the decision to adopt. Let me assure you, by the time I made my decision, I was more than ready for my baby to arrive!

And I despise people who respond to my complaints by saying, "Well, pregnancy takes nine months." As if that has any bearing on anything? If I had gotten pregnant the first time I tried, my child would be nearly two years old by now! Besides, when you're pregnant, your child is with you, right from day 1, even if it does take modern technology to get a look at him.

Besides, if I was pregnant, I would probably still be complaining about the wait.... only 27 hours and 36 minutes until I get up from my desk and...

[HOME] | [LARA] | March 20, 1996, 10:56 am